Friday, June 20, 2008

STILL swimming up hill...and now against the current.

This was found by a lady on a forum i am on...
its so well fitted.
So we got the results back for Aaron's last Sperm analysis.
Grim.
I/we got excited to see that the numbers had gone up (tripled to be exact)...this was the first line on the test result paper...
then reading more into it, it seems the increase means nothing, and if anything, if you add the numbers, the percentages and compare the last and this recent one it looks worse then it did.
Me being me, doing my thing with numbers, worked out, that out of 31 million counted, only approx 2.7 million were actually viable to be used for anything, or to be able to do the job themselves.
Now for those of you who have no knowledge of numbers. This is poor, poor number, and will most likey require some sort of assistance in fertilisation now.
...Some have it worse.
I have said this over and over in my head a million times now. And yes, that is certainly a true statement. But shit.
It doesnt take away the fact that it is still a kick in the ass for us both. I mean we have my messed up body with PCOS and whatever the hell wants to be wrong with it on any given day you want to examine it...and now, this.
We dont wish it to be any worse, but couldnt it have just been a little better??
Anyway, we will work through this. It will just take more time, more planning...more money than we first expected.
Hopefully this is the last knock down we will have.
We are now on par.lol. funny enough.
We can do this though. Two bits of broken can still be formed to make one whole.
We will do this.

In other news. We are almost at the end of this 2ww (2 week wait, between ovulation and testing for pregnancy).
So far things look good.My temperature has stayed up nicely,its been wonderfully triphasic and looks promising. Although for those who know about charting your BBT(basal body temperature) ugh, trying to remember to make sense of the abbreviations i'm so used to is going to be tough...and annoying :P , anyway, with charting, one day can make all the difference, a temp of the high 36's can drop overnight and you can wake up being back just about 36 and expecting the witch/af (period) to arrive any second of the day.
Ive been keeping it quiet this time around.Trying to stay optimistic about it all. Its so hard to hear of other success while your quietly failing though.
I have not said alot to Aaron about how things look and feel.I'm hoping for a nice surprise...if only it would show.

Please show...

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