Friday, August 29, 2008

Spring is here

Well this week will turn into spring.
Its Fathers day next Sunday, and i was hoping for a little surprise for Aaron but alas, it did not work out that way.
We just finished our 3rd round of Clomid.
I upped the dose under my own management, and oh-my-goodness. I ended up battling a case of OHSS which lasted about 8 days in total, and for most of those days i was having trouble walking, sitting, eating, drinking, sleeping etc etc. ugh!
note to self,
you DO NOT need more stimulation of your ovaries because they clearly work just fine on the dose the dr gave you! lol

So anyway, amoungst that came an O again, and the start of a new 2ww which felt alot different this time around. My chart looked great and and signs were all there, and by 9dpo i had snuck out of the house to get a pregnancy test while Aaron was busy.
My Tamagotchi died that day :( i was sad.
And so i walked myself into the bathroom after holding in everything i had drunk that day since lunch, it was now 4pm!
Read the instructions, did my thing and waited...in no time...this appeared before my eyes...

that little faint line meant that SHOCK! set in. and i freaked and showed Aaron really quickly.He saw it as quickly as i did.
Had we actually managed to do it???
It was so surreal. And so exciting and nerwracking all at once.
I was in love...with a stick, and with the idea that something was beggining to grow inside me.
I wasnt broken.

Obviously we went out and bought another lot of tests to check again in the morning, and with it being Sunday night, nothing was open and the choices werent really choices but "have to gets".
So the wait was on till morning comes...

Eat-sleep-repeat.
and...Nothing.

Not even half a line. Not even a shaddow.It had gone, just like that, in 24 hours.
The next 5 days of waiting were agony, sleep and tears.
The rest is history really. We now know this CAN at least happen...it didnt stick this time, but we know something can "maybe" work...

After all of this, i got myself into a local GP, He gave me a script for Metformin (DIABEX XR), since my Dr back in Sydney was going to try me on it and see if it made any difference.For the record i am TERRIFIED TO TAKE IT lol.the horror toilet stories i have read on various threads i'm on are enough to scare anyone away from it...i also
got a referal to a new OB/GYN who sounds absolutely amazing!!
He does his own procedures, his own ultrasounds etc which is very rare to find.
He is also with Monash IVF here which is another plus plus plus. It means that if we need to go that far we will have the same Dr to go through it with.

My first appointment with him is on the 16 September at 12:45pm. He is doing an u/s on this visit also which is GREAT! as Aaron and i decided to go ahead and do another round of the Clomid while we wait, and from going off my last few cycles the time of the u/s should be right around O time, so i should see whats going on with my ovaries while on fertility meds, which i havent had yet.
So outside of the sad thing that happened this time around, we have alot of positives too. I am very excited to see what this Dr says, and wants to do.

And outside of all of the TTC stuff, Aaron has a new job, which he started this week and seems to be getting enough out of it to still be there at least lol.

We miss our birdie-girl terribly and i often have a thought of her and get teary eyed immediately. We cant wait to see her and hope she hasnt already forgotten us.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

So much Change...

Clearly i am hopeless.
Nuff said.
Anyways...so much has happened since my last post on here.
We now live on the Sunny Gold Coast again.Its as wonderful as ever BTW, for those who might be envious :P
The move went well, not too many troubles except for having to get our massive tv shipped up on a truck, but other than that, it was smooth sailing.
We took our time to get to where we are now, we spent 2 great days with my Grandparents whom i havent seen in a very long time, the property up there is so relaxing, and i got to show Aaron my horse and he seemed to get a good thumbs up from both my grandparents.
We then spent a few days in Kempsey seeing Aarons family, and i really dont know what i was so terrified of.It was great, i felt very comfortable and almost at home there and we were spoilt with some really nice home cooked meals, which we havent had alot of in the last few weeks, with packing and moving and being lazy.
I made my way up here a few days before Aaron and had some time to myself, and gave him some time for his friends and family on his own.
Now he is here and we are on the hunt for jobs and just sort of settling in.Alot of what we loved close to home up here is still around, we are alot more active up here, which is great for our health and mentality too.
As it stands, our last round of Clomid was a bust, after an amazingly promising chart, with an implantation dip and everything!
So now we have just started our 3rd round of fertility meds.
i started them 2 days late because i was at Aarons Grandparents place when i was supposed to start it but i really didnt want to be a mass pain in the ass being sick and moddy and tired.
They have truely hit me like a tonne of bricks this time.
So the dose has been upped this time (to double) because well with having male factor(low sperm count) as well, i figure the more eggs that can drop the more chance they have at catching one...and now its just a waiting game


again.
i hate the ovulation wait.
yes, yes i do.

Oh and it was my birthday during all this time away too.24 Years younger now.
ugh.
i had a nice time out with my closest friends.Its hard to believe i am this old already.

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