Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Same old feelings

Well i can tell, by now, that i'm going to have to remind myself to actually update this.
Although...not alot has gone on since the last post, so i will use that as my excuse :p
Last cycle was another bust and the 2ww was dragged out by 3-4 extra days of waiting and hoping which has now got me wondering exactly when i ovulated, AGAIN this time.

Anyway, we are back on a new fresh cycle, i have just finished my 2nd round of Clomid, with less side effects than last time at least. The head/eye dramas were minimal, the hot flushes were still there in full force but i was prepared for them from last time.
I decided against seeing my OB/GYN this time around because i figured it would be a waste of money for the visit if all he would tell me was to start a new cycle. He doesnt want to monitor me yet, so i'm not paying him for answers i already know that he will give me.

Its my birthday in 14 days. the big 24. geeez. Where on earth is life going??
I know what i will be wishing for on the day... the baby psychic i got a reading from predicted a Girl in July. (mind you the other one said a Boy in June, so we wont get too excited about that one).

Outside of the baby business we are having such a hard time deciding where our lives are headed.Where we want to move to to settle down and live properly, where to build some strong foundations for us both.
We are greatly considering going back up North to the Gold Coast as we both love the atmosphere up that way and really wish we had never left in the first place.Its just getting shit sorted out down here, working out what is important for us to keep and hold onto, getting it all up there and then getting us up there.
Aaron has been applying for work up that way, and basically if anything comes up, we are out of here back to the sunshine a walk away from the beach. I will continue to study as best i can until we know whats going on, there isnt alot of point in me doing much else until we have some firmly planted feet on the ground.
Speaking of studying. UGH! for the record. i hate it. i hate it. i hate it. It is so hard to understand anything that you havent done before hands on. I feel like i'm out of my league!
I got really great marks for the first few things ive handed in and now i am stuck. Completely clueless and its driving me insane to the point where i am struggling to even want to do it anymore. But i will, because i know if i dont i will always kick myself, not to mention everyone else's responses which i dont need to hear.

So, i'm taking my time with it now. I figure i have the time...i have 3 years to do it, and i'm still young enough to take that much time if i need it. I hope i dont though, and i fly through it like i originally wanted too.
I just need to find my feet...then its smooth sailing.


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